Here Comes Everybody’s Karma (18)

When the ever-faithful friend to all creatures, tigerwood roadstaff by his side, was moving gracefully across the vast expanse of our grandest park in his rubber cap and substantial belt and leather bags, he encountered a fellow with a pipe. The latter, the mischief maker, not the innocent one (who, chances are, is still wandering around in the same straw barn, carrying his overcoat over his shoulder, inside out, to appear more like a country gentleman and abstaining from alcohol as confidently as you please) boldly approached him with: “Guinness thaw tool in jew me dinner ouzel fin?” (a peculiar greeting in Dublin slang that some of our elders may still remember vividly) to inquire if he knew the time the clock struck, as his own watch was unreliable. Hesitation was clearly to be avoided. Profanity was to be skillfully sidestepped.

Finnegans Wake

… when the tried friend of all creation, tigerwood roadstaff to his stay, was billowing across the wide expanse of our greatest park in his caoutchouc kepi and great belt and hideinsacks and his blaufunx fustian and ironsides jackboots and Bhagafat gaiters and his rubberised inverness, he met a cad with a pipe. The latter, the luciferant not the oriuolate (who, the odds are, is still berting dagabout in the same straw bamer, carryin his overgoat under his schulder, sheepside out, so as to look more like a coumfry gentleman and signing the pledge as gaily as you please) hardily accosted him with: Guinness thaw tool in jew me dinner ouzel fin? (a nice how-do-you-do in Pool- black at the time as some of our olddaisers may still tremblingly recall) to ask could he tell him how much a clock it was that the clock struck had he any idea by cock’s luck as his watch was bradys. Hesitency was clearly to be evitated. Execration as cleverly to be honnisoid.