First I would like to clarify that this little reflection omits to go into depth about the three issues that make or break most relations; money, addiction and sex. These are subjects that most stable couples have made clear agreements upon in an early stage of their relation or amend those rules in mutual understanding when the circumstances require them to do so.
But between those three pillars of a stable relation exists a network of purpose and motivations that keep a relation interesting for both partners and offer them an opportunity to grow also as individuals. This manifests itself in the projects they’re conducting together; rising children, building or buying a property, … to name some of most common ones.
You have people who lift this aspect of their relation to a higher level by conducting together an artistic, philanthropic or business project that allows both partners to contribute following their personal interests and to develop further their skills and creativity into their field of interest.
Or conducting a lifestyle that differentiates of what’s considered to be the sociological norm; nomads, missionaries, politicians, etc…
It’s my conviction that where an understanding of the three pillars (money, addiction and sex) are the fundamentals whereupon each long lasting relation rests, the common projects that allow each individual in a relation to grow, is the cement that holds the structure together. Sometimes a relation can run out of gas when there is no common project anymore. Think of the divorce spike that occurs between couples where the children have left the nest. Or the frequent break down of relations between artists because their views started to diverge to such degree that it excluded further common projects.